Kalyn Raphael

Watch This

I used to watch everything: the time, the correctness of things, how well and quickly I did things and more. It was endless.

Keeping a mental record of time so that everything was done on time and correctly was really a bit uptight. Generally it got me to my appointments five, ten or fifteen minutes early since I kept watching the time to make sure I didn’t arrive late.

What a life! Living under the thumb of what should be, when it should be by and how many minutes passed on my watch while it did!

Then I embarked more deeply onto my spiritual path. I began relaxing, letting go and trusting. I even received a beautiful watch as a gift for my birthday and wore it, but I slowed my time down. When this watch broke, over ten years ago, I stopped wearing it. Even though I looked for a new watch to replace it, none of the dozen watches I bought “did it” for me, so either something happened to them or I decided I didn’t really like them. My wrist was bare.

And, without a watch, I stopped watching time, my life and my doings.

For so many years I have been living life, making appointments and getting things done without monitoring watches, metaphorical or real. I have been taking care of things, completing more projects and making it at the right time to appointments. The ‘right’ time is not necessarily the agreed upon time, as things happen for everyone such that sometimes my being ten minutes late or early are right in the flow of the arrival of the event.

I have now spent years asking my sweet, sweet husband, Kris, what time it is – because I do keep in touch with time. This has been quite a different experience from my former watching years. Not only had it turned my husband into Big Ben at times, but I only watch time at the right time, like before I need to give class. And, I only ask a few times and then make it to where I need to be at the right time.

So, after Kris time keeping with his current watch, his watch has begun to tell time too quickly. That is to say, his current watch is speeding up and asking to be retired. Although his birthday isn’t for two more months, I decided it was time to get him a new, gorgous watch for his birthday. As we shopped around and found the watch he wanted, something in the display caught my eye! A beautiful watch! A unique, silver-colerd, decorative bracelet-like watch… just my taste! At the rist of breaking my even dozen set of un-worn and un-loved watches, Kris bought me a thirteenth watch.

I love my new watch, I guess it was time to have one again. I have been wearing it for the last couple of days and have enjoyed looking at my wrist to know the approximate time, as a watch with only 12:00, 3:00, 6:00 and 9:00 keeps me guessing a bit. Needless to say, I’m back in the flow of time.

I awoke this morning wondering how it is that I have made it to appointments and kept life on schedule and on time with no watch for the last ten years. Because one of my first thoughts as I brushed my teeth and was waking up was about putting my watch on.

And the answer came in a heartbeat. I have stopped watching time and have been keeping in tune with it instead. I have stopped keeping watch over my life and my doings and I have instead begun keeping them. Keeping them has meant taking care of my life and myself, doing my best to do what I need to do without measuring for success or judging the incorectness of things. Instead I have been loving and appreciating my life, my gifts and my experiences as best I can so that I see improvements, expansion and love coming forth. These later things are the ones I now watch for.